Different Journey
9 years ago
Monday, January 11, 2010
How it is
I’m not sure how to not be a procrastinator…I use to ask people and they would advise me to “just do it” after a long blank stare and a huff I would reply ok….and I thought I understood. I thought I understood I thought I knew what they meant. They meant HEY GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP GET THOSE GOALS ACCOMPLISHED. So that’s what I did…. I got up and checked into nursing school, (because I want to be a nurse) I got married (I wanted a family) I got a second job ( because I wanted more money) ………I did all this with in a year…lol. Can u guess what happen ….my week was filled with 60 hours of work 30 hours of school and 14 hours of traffic and all free time went to fights with the Mrs.….(because I’m a lesbo) after 10 months and countless hours of missed school neglecting both jobs and almost collecting my wife’s head. It all fell apart…and exhaustion and depression kicked in and all was lost….But no fear I’m here and I will try again. Of course I lost my job so I’m living on unemployment. My wife left me…..kind of around the same time I lost my job…..coincident I guess. My apartment was a perk of my job. so um I live with my mom and my car broke down and in a fit of rage I junked it.. So I’m 24 I have no kids, no job, no car, no real college education, my credit sucks and I live with my mom…..after my wife left I went through a change….well first I went though a sort of personal hell, but slowly I begin to feel again. And not just that painful dull anger that I had wasted what I thought to be a very important year of my life and got nothing but 5000 dollars in school loans and a scar on my heart. I felt the urge to try again. To fight that part of me that whispers never trust another big butt and smile. To say fuck nursing hard core business is the life for me. So lets start. I say lets because well I feel kind of Looney I mean lonely and hey why should I. I have , a computer I have access to the WORLD WIDE WEB. Lets see what I can do in this year… in the mean time I hope to run across people who have better advice then just do it cause as you can see that didn’t work.
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Go easy on yourself (and others) this year. It's "funny" how things can change for the better in no time. Deep breath and clean slate. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the hardest lesson to learn is that things that work for other people, just may not work for you. And I guess that lesson applies more to the people pressuring you, than it does to yourself. You tried nursing, you learned it doesn't work, if you keep searching, you'll find something makes you happy. I wish the best of luck in that search. :)
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