I couldn't understand why I stop writing, then yesterday while something snapped. I realize I had modified my blog to please others. One of the main habits I’m trying to escape.
The post prior to this one is a venting session , and in that I down my "ex" pretty bad. The truth of it is that I was expressing how my self love must grow, and how my own pride and arrogance allowed me not take the warnings of two very wise and intelligent women who’s experience in the matter was well beyond my own. The traits I used to describe her are not the problem . It was her acting on these traits that should have prompted my immediate exit from the situation. My lack of self persevering acts is the real point of post.
The post is pretty harsh on the "ex" but its how I felt at that time. Honestly I don’t think of her much unless it is related to myself growth, and there a lot to relate. Its a long brutal road from love to hate...The saying "a thin line between love and hate" is shit! love and hate are so far apart that it takes immense gestures in either case for this young woman to feel either way so for her to go from one extreme (my love) to very close to the other extreme (my hate) well that’s a lot . I wrote my last post with as sarcasm, of course I wasn't all good. and she wasn't all evil. But this blog is my place, we have no mutual friends we are in no way socially connected. I will not change anymore, I will not cage any more of myself.. For others especially one so undeserving of my consideration.
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Expressing your feeling rather than letting them consume is the way to go.
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