It seems like I shouldn’t be feeling so happy as a single woman but I am, love songs send me into a trance or sort of fantasy about new possibility once my life is back on track, its like I already know that me being single is not long term….That may seem border line neurotic, but the truth is it’s a down fall
When I think about why I feel this way I’m sure I’m setting myself up for the “bullshit”. in other words Im setting myself up for and asshole.
It may have something to do with that fact that I have never been single longer then three months, and the few times i was single i kept 3 to 4 female in rotation according to my needs. I know now that was the little girl in me afraid to be absolutely alone. Thats not all true I dont mind being alone so im not really sure or what or why ?
When I think of the future I think ….No! No I need to focus really hard for the next few years. I shouldn’t even be thinking that way….but every once in while I drift off and when I do I find myself thinking of things I think about what will she look like, what will she like , what will she dislike ? I feel like I have been through so much with my past that I will recognize what I don’t want, I feel like I will look deep enough to see what’s in her mind so I will recognize the qualities I do want. I’m hoping once school starts I can bury myself in studying…I crave that robotic process of receiving large amounts of information, the way I allow it fill my brain circling finding ways to connect and associate gluing knowledge to my brain. That’s what I need school………one week left. Then I can successfully daydream about cells and synapses.
In the mean time I have decided to read the origin of species . There is a book that’s very popular right now The God Delusion by a man name Richard Dawkins…that I have to read. I wont go into detail here its much to heavy but I am going to start a short blog dedicated to this subject since I do have strong feelings on the subject of the atheist movement that seems to be spreading epidemic. Why not start with a book that has greatly influence the science community greatly. F.Y.I I think god (our creator) is in science. As our minds evolve so shall our understanding of our creation and creator.
Coming soon blog
Different Journey
9 years ago
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Very interesting your view of single life and romance. I too have only been single about 3 or 4 months tops. I really probably too heavily on needing a companion. Good for you to find solace in yourself and not going crazy while you're single.
ReplyDeleteAbout atheism/evolution - very controversial and deep subject. I want to read that book you mentioned The God Delusion.
I believe in God, but "He" (LOL) is not the same as I was taught to believe he was growing up. Taking God "out of the box" as they says opens your mind up to endless possibilties of how we got here and why we're here and it helps people be less judgmental and concentrate on their own path while here on earth. God is so much more (and possibly so much less) than our perceptions. Its all so very interesting. I do feel that we are here for a reason, with a purpose.
Thank you I will be doing that today its going to start with my views befor both books.
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